Burned out?

 I really do not understand why I feel this way.

I am just done with everything in my mind right now.

I just want to cry and explode.

Its 19:00 and I started listening to Lana´s song: Blue jeans. It kind of transported me to another physical dimension.. while searching for some France research opportunities made me feel one day I will be working and living over there. One of the things I want to do soon. 

I just want to stop working in my currently job position and stay at home and get some rest. Stay at home and tell my parents how much I love them. Miss my lil sister so freaking much but I know she will be here soon.

It kind of impressed to me the way I reacted to this big snow ball of situations and issues I am going through right now. I ate 5 pieces of Ferrero´s chocolates today.. why? because I was feeling so burned ? and frustrated that I really did not know what to do to feel better or to fix the issues. I wanted to help her to fill the freaking death registry certification as a medical doctor but I could not. Have more than ten {"NO" of people that could help me, frustrated me so much. Why? I do not know. It is something that I can not control and I am aware of that...but it feels so frustrating that I can not do much to help her...

Probably this situation made me feel sad and frustrating because she is someone I care about. If this was the case of other people probably it would not affect me so much as this.

I turned on the laptop and started listening to kind of songs that would made me feel a little bit relax but it did not worked as much as I wanted to.

Anyways, writing here all this emotions and thoughts made me feel a little bit relieved.

One day at a time, Lu

One day at a time.

3 more months. Stay focus. Write, dance and sing. Inhale and exhale. 

You will be fine. Everything will be fine.